Looking Back With Disbelief
Last night I attended a High School choir concert. Ten years ago, choir was all I did. Growing up in a church with an a cappella tradition, and never being coordinated enough for sports, I threw myself into performing arts. In retrospect, I guess I did it to feel like I was good at something, or at least, a part of something. Carrying this burden with me, I went on to study music in college. Maybe it was because I felt like singing was my best hope, I didn’t have the courage to chase my dreams, or I just didn’t have a clue what to do with my life.
The teenagers did a great job, annunciating, staying on rhythm and pitch, and providing the audience with a pleasant evening. But looking up at the choir director, standing upright in his tails with arms waving, I couldn’t imagine ever being in his position.
Being a choir director didn’t work out for me. Neither have a few other things I have tried over the years. But looking back, I find myself with an amazing lack of regret. My life is far from perfect, but I can’t imagine how much worse it would be if I got my way.
