I have always read a lot of books. I love having books around and talking about books. I think that bookshelves are the best way to decorate a house. So the idea of digital books didn’t used to be too appealing to me. However, during my trip to Fuller, I was embarrassed to see so many people carrying iPads and Kindles, while I had a second suitcase full of books. This was compounded by a 200 page , two column PDF that I had to read on my Macbook. Partially joking and partially exasperated I tweeted:
This has been a tough summer. In many ways, I feel like God has put me on hold. I’ve been waiting a long time for a lot of things, trying to be faithful with what I do have. But living in between is tough, and it’s worn me down.
The question that comes to mind is “why isn’t God working in my life?” I hear stories of God providing in emergencies, providing opportunities for vocation, or providing little things. It would be a lie to say that God has never worked in my life this way, but it feels like it’s been a long time.
Last Sunday I was handed a box that had been shipped to an old residence. I wasn’t expecting anything, much less the 1/2 lb. e-ink masterpiece I had been pining for. Shocked, I raced home and dug through my receipts just to make sure I had not accidentally bought it. Nothing. I tore apart the box for a shipping form, and saw my address and a short line that said:
I’ve spent the last week attached to the little gizmo. A co-worker saw me smiling and said: “You look like you’ve got a new girlfriend.” I’ve devoured two books already.
It hasn’t fixed any of the problems that have got me down. But it is a reminder that God is out there, he listens, and other people do, too. I may have some complaints, but I have a good life. While I may still be on hold with God, I feel like he’s letting me know that he hasn’t gone anywhere. He cares. He wants to take care of me. Maybe he’s just waiting for me to let him.