How One Full Year of Church Planting Has Messed Me Up

Chris —  October 29, 2014

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On October 15 of 2013, we held our first official Sunday Liturgy for Austin Mustard Seed. It was pouring rain, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. That morning a few dozen people showed up, most of whom were a complete surprise.

A year later, we’re still at it. It has messed me up in three ways.

I’m learning to accept that the any good things I have are from God.

Over the last year, so many good things have happened! People have gathered, many of whom were strangers, and they’ve slowly become a cohesive unit.

We’ve had people open up the darkest part of their lives to each other. We’ve had lonely people make life-long friends. We’ve seen babies born, at least one of whom came on the heels of our prayers.

We’ve seen people delve into community together. We’ve seen people open their checkbooks to care for each other.

We’ve seen people who were burned out or hurt by church find a safe place.

What messes me up is that I can take NO CREDIT for any of it! To be honest, I don’t know where we found these people! I’m delighted at how eager they are to share their lives together.

We have a lot of good things going on.

The only way to explain it is that God is at work among us.

I’m looking at the man in the mirror.

Pretty much every leadership book you read will tell you something along the lines of “get your %#*! together because you attract what you are.”

I didn’t know that meant we’d have so many conversations about Batman.

More seriously, I’m becoming increasingly aware of my attitude and actions affect our growing church community. Specifically, I have to manage my energy level and my attitude. When I’m tired or grouchy, that affects everything else I do.

Because I’m tired, I put off sermon prep, resulting in an ad hoc talk that leaves people bored and scratching their heads. Because I’m grouchy, I don’t display joy when I talk with or about our community. Because I’m unsettled, I don’t spread hope about all God is and can do among us.

That’s why, over the past year, I’ve tried to take on a few new practices, including a daily morning scripture meditation. I’ve also tried to relax a little, specifically recognizing how much of my anxiety life is grounded fears around money.

As Michael Jackson says, one full year of church planting has forced me to take a look at the man in the mirror. While I trust God to build his church, it’s also my responsibility to bring my best to it. Which means the man in the mirror is going to have to change his ways.

I can’t do it all

The best thing about church planting with Austin Mustard Seed is that I don’t have to do it all. I don’t even try.

How have we gotten this far?

Well, the majority of the credit goes to my co-planter, John Chandler, who not only provides leadership and direction, but also does a ridiculous amount of nitty-gritty work that would totally overwhelm me. It also helps that those who initially joined our community have a depth of experience and were eager to jump in.

There’s also just a lot of things that I’ll never get to. Since I’m bi-vocational, I only have so many hours a week I can give to our efforts. There are a few basic communications related tasks that have to be done, and everything else is on an as needed basis.

This limitation is hard, because I want to give so much more. It is hard because sometimes I have to tell people “no.” It is hard because I have to learn how best to spend my time.

There are also a lot of things I’d like to see happen. I’d like us to take some bigger risks. I’d like to reach more and different people. I’d like to have a killer kids program, a safe place for singles to live in meaningful community and solve Austin’s homelessness problem.

All of these are good things. I can’t make them happen right now. So, I’m learning to content myself with the reality of “not now but not never.”

Great things are happening among us. I lack the time or talent to do great things. Which is taking a bit off my ego.

With one year behind us, I’m praying and evaluating the year to come. I can’t imagine how messed up I will be by this time next year!

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