Archives For Single

Not that long ago, a very accomplished single man in his 30s told me his story of how he has been shaped by the pressure to get married.  This pressure had been internalized, and helped spell doom for any potential relationships that came his way.  Churches are full of these seemingly happy couples.  Christian organizations seem to be marketed to helping college students find their “help mate” or propagating “family values”.  It seems that, unless you’re a Catholic monk, the church just doesn’t know what to with single people.

One secular psychologist, when trying to explain the churchy culture of America, postulated that the sole reason churches exist is to help married couples remain faithful to each other.  As a follower of Christ, I know that the church is more than that.  However, I can see why he would say such a thing.

(If Missio Alliance made Valentine's Day Cards. Please give to your friends on this Special Day)

If Missio Alliance made Valentine’s Day Cards. Please give to your friends on Valentines Day. (via missioalliance.org)

The fact is that yes, Genesis teaches that it is not good for people to be alone.  But we have to remember that Jesus was single, and Paul even thought it was preferable.  It’s hard to imagine that a St. Francis or Mother Theresa could have had the impact they did as a married person.  So, how can the church better serve it’s singles? Continue Reading…

An Excuse

Sitting across a room-a church sanctuary or a crowded bar-and you can help but stare at her beguiling smile.

Scour the room for an excuse to initiate conversation.  Her shirt?  Never heard that band…  Her drink?  Don’t like beer…  The book she’s reading?  You don’t read Jane Austen…

You can’t walk up and say, “Hi, my name’s Chris.  I think you have beautiful eyes, and if I didn’t find a way to come over here find out a little more about yourself, I’d be up all night regretting it.”

In High School and College you had no choice but to rub shoulders with people every day.  Now you’re on your own.  Life outside the cubicle is an awkward game of forcing yourself into social circles to make new, shallow relationships.  Any bonding happens over alcohol, because you don’t have time for anything else.  Your only hope is to come up with an excuse.

You rack your brain trying to come up with the courage to say something that doesn’t sound like the lame pick up line it really is.  She touches the hand of some other guy who made her laugh.  Or she leaves.  You order another drink, and wish you’d come up with an excuse.