Actually, don’t. That sounds like a terrible idea.

For me, it’s hard not to think life as a series of failed experiments and missed opportunities. A little over a year ago I found myself out of a job, with a broken car, and needing a new place to live. Despite the name of this blog, I completely gave up on my attempts to become a better version of myself. I went into disaster-mode, focusing only on immediate threats.

Unsuprisingly, things got worse.

Then slowly, things got better.

Now that my head is on a little more straight, it occurs to me: It doesn’t have to be so hard! Instead of giving up, I wish I had done three things (which I’m doing now).

1. Brainstorm a lot

When I was in emergency mode, I found myself constantly complaining “I just don’t know what to do!” Today, I’m making mind-maps and lists. The goal is continually to be dreaming up big ideas while simultaneously naming the next step I have to take.

2. Get a coach.

Knowing I’d hit my personal limit, I called in some help from Kairos Partnerships. My coach and I talk a few times a month about time management, church planting and my personal spirituality. While my coach provides some great resources, the main thing he does is help me name the next step I need to take.

3. Plan for (some) failure.

One reason I get so down on myself for past failures is an internal expectation that I can and should succeed. Now I realize what a waste of energy that can be. Today, I’m thinking about the main goal I want to accomplish, with the expectation I will probably fail a few times along the way.

What about you? How have you learned to move on after a failure?

The post Here is a Method That is Helping Me to Move on After Failures appeared first on Chris Morton.

There are at least three approaches to New Year’s Resolutions. Some better than others depending on what you hope to accomplish.

The Goal

Most people confuse a goal with an intention. For instance “I’d like to lose weight” is an intention. “I will loose 10 pounds by eating 2 healthy meals a day for the next 60 days” is a goal. Use the tried and true framework “SMART” to help you articulate a goal you can succeed at:

Simple

Measurable

Achievable

Relevant

Time-Bound

Habit

Unlike a goal, a habit is a change of lifestyle. Examples of habits include “exercise daily” and “never check email before 9am.” The best way to learn a new habit it to subvert an existing one.

In The Power of Habit, author Charles Duhigg, talks about how he broke his mid-morning cookie habit. He realized that what he enjoyed was not the chewy chocolate chips, but the opportunity to move around and socialize. He replaced his cookie break with a short time to walk around the office and socialize. The cookie was hardly missed, and he even lost a little weight.

Skills

We all have abilities we’d like to attain, like speaking a foreign language, learning to paint or write code. While mastering a skill may take 10,000 hours, basic competence can be achieved in only 20 hours.

According to Josh Kaufman,

[Rapid skill acquisition is] a way of breaking down the skill you’re trying to acquire into the smallest possible parts, identifying which of those parts are most important, then deliberately practicing those elements first.

The amount of time it will take you to acquire a new skill is mostly a matter of how much concentrated time you’re willing to invest in deliberate practice and smart experimentation and how good you need to become to perform at the level you desire.

Kaufman’s 10 Principles of Rapid Skill Acquisition are:

1. Choose a lovable project.
2. Focus energy on one skill at a time.
3. Define your target performance level.
4. Deconstruct the skill into sub-skills.
5. Obtain critical tools.
6. Eliminate barriers to practice.
7. Make dedicated time for practice.
8. Create fast feedback loops.
9. Practice by the clock in short bursts.
10. Emphasize quantity and speed.

How do you want to change in 2014?

The post Three Approaches to New Year’s Resolutions appeared first on Chris Morton.

Here’s the TED talk that introduced Brene to the world.

The post Sunday Video: TED Speaker Brene Brown on why Jesus Wept appeared first on Chris Morton.

A short contract job working for an advertising agency changed how I think about every day. We billed our clients hourly and tracked our own work. This made sure that we were staying balanced individually and billing accurately.

I’m going through what a friend jokingly referred to as “wedding withdraw”. I recently completed my graduate degree, I’m helping start a new church community and hunting for a job. It’s a strange season where my days are unstructured and my goals are self-directed. This has left me with a constant sense of fear/guilt about not accomplishing anything. 

A friend of mine is a Quaker and Ignatian trained spiritual director. When I shared my anxiety with him, I assumed he would tell me to get in touch with my true self or trust in the grace of God. Instead, he suggested I could do the same thing I did at the agency: track my hours.

At first this sounded really unspiritual. I was hoping for some hocus-pocus prayer or a productivity strategy. What I realized was I just needed to be more mindful of what I was already doing. The best way to do this was to take the time to be aware of time.

Suddenly, everything from writing this blog to putting away laundry has a new significance. I have a good idea of what I did, and how long it took. I am also aware of how much time I “wasted”, surfing the web or watching Netflix. The encouraging thing is, most days, I actually did something!

The post You Did Something Today appeared first on Chris Morton.

Alas, I knew this lifestyle couldn’t last. Not only would I eventually run out of money, but I needed to get back to chasing after my vocation.

These five steps are helping me get my life back on track.

1. Seek God’s will.
This is the perfect season to reevaluate. Revisit the deep truths and big questions of life. Spend time in scripture and in prayer. Use tools like the prayer of examen and free writing to pray through where you are coming from, and where you are going.

Don’t do this alone! Ask friends and mentors what you should you do differently. Meet with a spiritual director to help you listen to the Holy Spirit. The goal of this might be as grand as determining your vocation, or as specific as creating a “Stop. Start. Continue.” list.

2. Make sure your situation is sustainable.

Getting your life back on track will likely take much longer than you would like. You have huge decisions to make here, and you don’t want them to be ruled by a shrinking bank account. You may have to find a part time job, a roommate or a tighter budget. Do whatever you have to do to make sure you are stable enough to dream.

3. Make a list.
Once I’m off my game, things start falling through the cracks. Getting on top of this is as simple as making a list. A good list has two types of items “Big Projects” that are broken into “Next Steps.”

Put everything on the list. Usually the top item on my list is “make a list” followed by basics like “grocery shopping” and “brush teeth”. Everything goes on the list. Nothing feels better than marking things off the list!

4. Build a schedule.
Unstructured time is the bane of both productivity and creativity. When time is unassigned, it will get wasted. Michael Hyatt suggests creating a budget because “the only difference is that you plan how you will spend your time rather than your money.” If you sleep eight hours a week, that leaves you with 112 waking hours to spend. Use them wisely!

5. Envision your long term goal.
One of the scariest questions I’ve been asked is “what do you want?” Perhaps it’s a deeply seeded fear of failure, or anger about my current reality. What helps is thinking long term. I can’t fix my problems for tomorrow, but I can begin to dream about my life fifteen years from now.

Currently, I am working on a fifteen year plan. When you write something down it becomes tangible. This gives you something specific to work toward. One element of this plan is my vocation. My goal is that by 2028, I will be spending 50% teaching and developing leaders in a local church, and 50% of my time developing leaders in a national missionary movement. Once I had the courage to write that down, it is easy to work backwards to figure out what to do next.

What do you do when you get off your game?

The post Try These Five Steps and Get Your Life Back on Track appeared first on Chris Morton.