To be honest with you, saying that I am thankful for my seven months of unemployment this year is about the most unnatural words for me to write.  But I have learned over the last year that personal healing and a responsible theology demand that I am thankful for everything.  I learned this from my friend Bobby, who told me a story about a child of his who was bitter at God for losing someone close to him.  Bobby’s instruction to his child was to get on his knees and thank God for taking that person away.

It seems counter-intuitive, thanking God for things that suck.  Our natural inclination is to blame God.  But imagine if you could stand with Job, shake your fist in the air, and say “Though he may slay me, still will I praise him.”  Or join with Paul, beaten and shipwrecked, and say “God works in all things.”  Or with Jesus, staring betrayal and death in the face and saying “Not my will, but thine.”

I could write a lot more on what I learned during my unemployment.  But I haven’t because it’s not really resolved, and I’m not quite at peace with it all.  But I do know that the story is far from over, I’m already stronger for it all, and even though he drives me crazy sometimes, I really need God and trust his ways.

No one who has ever known me would choose to use the word “disciplined” to describe me.  I know I wouldn’t.  But a little over a year ago a friend of mine put together a list of goals to take him through the end of the year.  I looked at my life and was a little embarrassed to say that I didn’t have any goals for that fall.  So I made a commitment to journal daily.  I bought a little black moleskin and started writing a little each night before bed.

It doesn’t sound like much, but here’s the thing: discipline breeds discipline.  I started trying to write every night, and then I got to where I had to do it.  I couldn’t go to bed without it.  I found that my daily Bible reading became more regular.  And as I blogged about a few days ago, I eventually developed the discipline that allowed me to train for and run a half marathon.

I love that discipline has two meanings; it refers to both a type of focused, regular study and to a painful, but helpful, reprimand.  Every time I sit to write, I am tempted to write something pithy that will someday be discover and recognized as genius.  But when I look back on my writings, I am struck by the sheer mundaneness of daily life, and my propensity to make to repeat my mistakes.  This is another type of discipline, the painful recognition of my shortcomings.

I am thankful for discipline, because, I know that it is only through the pain of daily practice and regular failure, that I will grow into the man I need to be tomorrow.

It’s Thanksgiving week, and I’m devoting my blogging space, to, well, things I’m thankful for.  Please feel free to comment, and share what you are thankful for.

It may sound strange or even redundant, but one of the things I am most thankful for is actually Thankfulness itself.  Now we all know that being thankful is a good thing.  Mom taught us to say our pleases and thank yous.  While praying for meals, we make vague statements like “Thank you for the food and the hands that made it.  Bless it to the nourishment of our bodies.”  If you grew up in a traditional church like I did, you sang the song “Count Your Blessings” so many times that you didn’t want to even think about it anymore.

But I first started taking Thankfulness seriously about a year ago when I came across a few studies of people using “Thankfulness Journals” as part of an overall treatment for depression.  They said the key was to note things that you were thankful for that others had done for you.  This means not saying “Thank you for my good looks!” but “Thank you for the sacrifice so and so made for me today.”

With this in mind, I’ve started keeping a Thankfulness journal.  A few times a week I’ll take a few minutes to write a list of five things I’m thankful for.  I try to focus on things God and others have given me, and try to be as specific as possible.  Now, not only am I a natural cynic, but I’ve also had a hell of a year.  So coming up with five new things–specific, meaningful things–I’m thankful for is not very simple.  At the time, it didn’t seem to help, mainly just frustrate me.  But since then, it has begun to develop into a bit of a spiritual discipline for me.  And looking back over this difficult season, I am able to focus more on the blessings I made note of than the struggles I dealt with.  The had time just seem like a footnote in a time in which I was really blessed.