Archives For growth

5 Books to Help You Grow Up

Chris —  April 18, 2013

A few months after I graduated from college, I learned how utterly unequipped for adulthood I was. My roommate called me up, and tried to be nice as he informed me he was throwing away all the food in our refrigerator. The electricity bill was in my name, and I hadn’t paid for it.

High School and College had provided a clear framework of how life was supposed to work. I just had to show up for class, do my work, and not do anything too stupid. But now I was in the real world. I had to find a job and pay my bills and find my place in community.

Unfortunately, there are no printed guidelines telling us how the game of life works. We have to figure it out, more or less on our own. Scriptures, and most plainly, the Sermon on the Mount, provide an ethical framework of how Christians interact in the world. But how do do you deal with disappointments, find a job, talk to people and get stuff done?

Andy Stanley says that it’s not experience that’s the best teacher, but other people’s experience. Here are five of my favorite resources from other people who have already figured out what it means to act like an adult.

The Road Less TraveledThe Road Less Traveled – M. Scott Peck

M.S. Peck’s classic will help you grow up by admitting that life is tough, love is hard, and then getting over it.  Peck was not a Christian at the time he wrote it, and it is fascinating to see his thinking on psycho-spiritual issues taking shape.  I think of this book everytime I run into a difficulty, or have to fix my car.

Life is Difficult.

This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.  It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.  Once we truly see that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult.  Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

You can read my full review here.
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Recently, I found myself in crisis. This crisis was incredibly similar to a crisis I found myself in a few years before…which was a lot like another I had been in a few years before.

Suddenly, I was captured by despair! Will I ever change?

This blog is titled Growth and Mission. It is committed to the belief that people can, and do change. It’s based in a belief that Jesus really meant for people to do all the things he said to do.

Jesus calls his followers to become disciples. When you view your life as discipleship you realize that all discipline is spiritual discipline.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
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The last two months have been the best ever for this blog.  I’ve developed a rhythm that allows me to post 5-6 days a week.  More people than ever have stopped by.  And a greater focus for what the content should be about has bubbled up.

Starting next week the focus of ChrisMorton.info will be two things: Growth and Mission.  Here’s what that means:

Growth

Jesus left his disciples with one main instruction: Go and teach people to do what I said to do.

Doing what Jesus says will require full-life discipline.  It doesn’t just include a better understanding of scripture and learning spiritual discipline, but bringing your entire life into focus.  Since this will include everything from spiritual disciplines to lifehacks, we’ll categorize these entries under Growth.

Some past entries on this topic include:

Mission

Lesslie Newbigin’s said in Open Secret that “We are forced to do something that the Western churches have never had to do since the days of their own birth-to discover the form and substance of a missionary church…”

These posts will focus on what it means for churches and individuals to join in God’s mission.

Some past entries include:

I’ll continue to post 4-6 times a week, including long form and short for writing, quotes and videos.  You’ll see a new “About” page and a separate “bio” page.  There will also be a new social media push and some exciting possibilities like guest posts and video posts.  I hope you’ll spread the word.

 

Today I turn 31 years old.  I’ve learned a few things….mostly the hard way.  Here are a few lessons I wish I had known before about the three things that take up most of my thoughts: God, Girls and Growth.

Girls

1.  Girls want to be asked out.
A few years back I realized that, due to a string of crises, I hadn’t been on a date in years and I didn’t have anyone to ask out.  I bit the bullet and signed up for online dating.  Lo and behold, there were dozens of beautiful girls, just waiting to be asked out!  Many of them I knew and had never realized it would be possible to date them. The truth is, they want to be in a relationship, too, and were just waiting to be asked out!

1193153_girl_silhouette

2. It is better to be rejected than to regret not trying.
When I started seeing a counselor, I told him about a girl I’d had a crush on for years.  She was so beautiful, funny and kind that she scared the daylights out of me!  My counselor told me to ask her out, and wouldn’t drop it until I did. The date itself was horrifying. I learned I could do it, and I swore I’d never again get in that cycle of fear and regret. 

3. Birds of a feather flock together.
Know a girl who seems just perfect, but she’s unavailable?  Get to know her friends!  Wonder why you keep dating terrible hateful human beings? Do they seem to be all alike and hang out in the same places?  The old adage is true! Birds of a feather flock together.  Find out where a good one flocks, and you’ll find more just like her. (Unfortunately, they’ll probably be friends. Play it cool.)

4. Never trust a profile picture taken at an odd angle in a car.
Here’s a hard earned lesson from the alternative universe of on-line dating: If someone is taking a picture at an odd angle that doesn’t make any sense, they’re hiding something.  Trust me.

5. Do something free on the first date.
Chances are you will go on a fair number of first dates.  Wait to do something fancy until you think she’s worth keeping around.  It also forces you to be creative. This increases the chance of making great memories!

6. Judge by fruit.
I could put this one in any section, but I’ll keep it here.  Like John the Baptist said, judge a tree by its fruit.  You can’t have a relationship with “the person I think she could become someday.” You can only have a relationship with the person she is today.  The best predictor of future behavior is past performance.  Continue Reading…

How To Go to Sleep at Night

Chris —  February 28, 2013

When I set my goals for 2013, I made “Become a Morning Person” a top priority.  Let me be clear: I am, and have always been a night owl. I love the long conversations in the dark and the quiet loneliness that gives me space to do the silly things I’d never do in the sunlight.  However, to reach my other goals of 2013, like finishing the MAGL and improving this blog, it was going to take a new level of discipline.  After a few early mornings where no amount of expresso seemed to be doing the trick, it became clear that I was going to have to sacrifice a few things.

Man Waking to Alarm Clock

For the time being, I’m trying to say goodbye to hours of surfing the internet after sunset.  I’ve stopped sticking around to close down parties that have already been stale for a few hours.  But that’s easy part.  Actually going to sleep is the hard part.  Here’s seven tips I’ve picked up that have helped me get a good night’s rest.

  1. Go to bed tired.
    There’s no better feeling than a good night sleep a hard day’s work. But that’s hard to get if you’re a 21st century knowledge worker.  Part of the reason I have trouble sleeping at night is that my body isn’t always tired.  So, during the day, do whatever it takes to get out, and wear your muscles out.  You’ll feel better the rest of the day, and sleep better at night.
  2. Make a list.
    Ever lay in bed worrying about what you have to do the next day?  Just as you start to drift off, the next thing, floats into your head.  Part of the reason is that we have so much going on that we can’t keep track of it all.  So, to get this under control, take a few minutes to create a list.  Take a glance at it before you call it a night, and congratulate yourself for all the things you accomplished.
  3. Clean your room.
    The world around you shapes what’s inside you.  Take a moment to pick up your socks off the floor and make your bed.  When the end of the day comes around, you’ll lay down in a peaceful setting.
  4. Hide your electronics.
    Our gadgets are addicting.  I will surf for hours and not even realize I’m doing it.  Just having the gadgets in my room will make me want to use them.  Put your laptop and iPad in places you can’t see.  If you don’t (yet) have the discipline to stay away from them, leave them in another room when you call it a night.
  5. Create a peaceful setting.
    If you live in a city, or share your space with family or roommates, chances are, they’ll be making noise that will distract you from drifting off.  To cover the noise up, I use Songza, because of it’s sleeping playlists and sleep timer. If you share your bedroom, you might consider purchasing some sleep phones to keep from distracting others.
  6. Relax your body.
    Unless you’re naturally laid back or some kind of yogi, you probably are storing stress and tension in your muscles.  When you lay down, you have trouble staying still, breathing and relaxing.  Invest some time and money in learning muscle relaxation and breathing techniques.  It’s amazing how quickly you will feel better.  Despite it’s cheesy name, I’ve found Christian Relaxation tapes to be a great way to calm down and reflect on scripture.
  7. Pray.
    So much about going to sleep at night means being at peace.  To the extent you can, this includes being at peace with God.  The prayer of Examen is one of Ignatius’s, whereby you review your day and present it to God.  If you’ve never done the Examen, this audio file will walk you through it.  You’ll learn a lot about prayer and feel more at peace with God and the world.