When I was doing my Austin Church Search I went to a “young professionals” Bible Study.  A young woman got on stage wearing little more than a t-shirt and invited us all to Happy Hour the next day.

Another one I visited the preacher began with a joke about how good he was at sex.

Another time I met a girl who off the bat shared about some very unique spiritual gifts.

Happy hour is good.  So is sex.  Spiritual gifts are often genuine manifestations of God’s work in us.  So why are the things dangerous?

In each situation, the speaker didn’t give much thought as to how they would be perceived.  Whether it’s a date or a sermon or a sales call, you have just a few seconds to express who you are and why you are there. What you lead with can make or break the interaction.

A customer walked up to me and introduced herself  by saying “I promise I’m not an overindulgent mother, but…”  I was caught off guard and chuckled a little bit.  The mother went on to explain how her 10 year old daughter had been saving up for months for an expensive electronic device.  She managed to do three things at once:

1) Redirect attention away from the transaction, making the interaction more personal.

2) Compliment her daughter.

3) Establish a positive, humorous rapport for the rest of the conversation.

What you lead with can make or break the interaction. I never went back to either church, but I had a lot of fun meeting the family at the store.  For those of us who can often be outspoken or even contrarian, this is a hard lesson.  In an established relationship, we can get away with that.  But with crowds and strangers, we need to consider what we lead with.